Raven watched as the dinner crowd slowly made their way from the dining hall towards the small theater. He played the shadows for cover hoping not to startle anyone with his rather unique visage. Bex remained invisible allowing her more freedom of movement and significantly less chance of being noticed. Edging into the room he saw that it was luxurious and comfortable, at least for a river boat. Each table had a single lit candle in a blackened holder. They offered slight illumination, their flickering flames forcing the shadows into a macabre dance. The back of the room was dominated by a stage, high enough so those standing on it could be seen throughout the space, but hardly high enough as to cause a viewer to strain themself. 

“What do ya think Bex? Fancy a show?”

“Hmm.” Came a telepathic answer. “Will there be suffering and pain?” She mused. “I can do with a bit of light hearted comedy.”

Raven chuckled. “I’m sure, though I suspect you won’t see the type of theatrics our queen puts on display.”

“So boring…” The imp said in disappointment.

“Ladies and Gentlemen…” The introduction began.

“Oh, it’s starting.” Raven announced with mild interest.

“The River Dancer would like to bid you good evening and welcome you to The Rostrum Adrift. Please enjoy the show and now without delay, I present the beguiling and infernal charms of Ozakius!”

“Did he say infernal?” Bex asked hopefully.

Raven smirked as curtains of subtle sanguine hues parted, revealing a form, more so a shadow crouched in the middle of the platform. At the edge of the stage, starting from the far ends, slowly working their way towards the center, the floor lights begin to ignite, their dull glow starting to give definition to a form. The warlock watched the audience lean forward, straining in the dark to get a better glimpse of what might be there, what his devil’s sight already revealed to him. 

A cruel smile developed across the performer’s face as he craned his neck, scanning the sea of onlookers’ expressions, some in fascination others in muted horror. A collective gasp could be heard as his wings, bat-like in appearance, unfolded and stretched out.

“Fake.” Bex sighed. “I should have suspected a charlatan.” She shook her head dismayed.

“The wings, yes, but not that tail, he looks to be a tiefling.”

“Interesting, we haven’t come across any others like you. I wonder what lineage soils his blood.” The imp thought aloud.

Raven side eyed his longtime companion. 

The actor leapt out with a grace that defied all logic and landed precariously upon the second table on the right of the stage. Neither candle nor drinks were disturbed by this sudden intrusion. The couple, still seated, had recoiled so deeply, the likelihood of them toppling became ever so real. Still crouched with his wings unfurled, the performer lifted his hands up, allowing a scroll to spill open from his left. Runes and sigils glowed and writhed across the parchment in a language unknown to the likes of man or elf.

“Gibberish.” Bex sneered. “Obviously he has a poor grasp of our language.”

She had just finished her thought when In the actor’s right hand snapped into existence a pitchfork.

“Ughh.” She groaned. “A pitchfork? Really? How cliché.”

Raven chuckled at her admonishment. 

The pair watched as he jutted the barbed head of the weapon at the man. Snarling in an insidious tone he called out,  “Herbert Miller!… it has been nine years since you made your pact with me… and now, I have come to claim what was promised!”

“Oh!” The two denizens of hell shared an interested look. “What have we here?” The imp asked hopefully.

The man was shocked.  “He’s off ‘is nut. I ain’t no deal wifno demon I swears it!”

“Idiot.” Bex Sneered. “Demons don’t make deals, not with any contractual legitimacy at least.”

The tiefling roared back “LIAR! I will have you all know, here AS MY WITNESS, that this man, Herbert said, AND I quote”, the demons voice shifted from guttural and foul to that of a gruff patron  “ I would sell my soul if’n the lovely Loretta would do me the honor to being me wife”

“Wait what?” Raven asked, confused. He could see the hellfire rise in Bex’s cheeks. “That’s not how contracts work. That’s not how any of this works.”

“No it is not.” The former Erinyes seethed.

Raven watched with piqued interest as the tiefling performer turned his head toward the audience. His voice had softened to more of a jovial tone. “Let it be known, on this day, nine years ago, this man, with heart in hand, asked this woman to be his and his alone… so let us applaud and celebrate the anniversary of their betrothal.” He started to clap and soon so did the crowd.

“What kind of nonsense was that?” The imp asked offended,

“No idea, but we both know he can get in serious trouble posing as a collector.”

“Indeed.” The imp glowered. “I’ll be calling the union.”

The attendants relit half the sconces to preserve the ambience.

The tiefling returned to center stage where a small table had been placed during the event. He quickly slipped off the wings, placing them down.

“I knew they were fakes.” Bex scowled.

“I am so very happy for the both of you, and remember if it gets a little slow later, I’m in room seventeen.” He said winking at the couple. “I’m even happier that I got the right table. It can be embarrassing. You have no idea how many people will confess to deals they have made when I have mistaken the stage left for right.”

Raven leaned into his companion. “That’s nonsense too.” 

“So who do you think sired this bastard?” Bex asked, annoyed.

“I’m not sure. Not Glasya. She’d never stand for this embarrassment.”

“Certainly not.” The imp agreed.

They watched him make his way toward a table with an older gentleman in the company of a much younger lady, one whose options in clothing was as equally thought provoking as her choice of paramour. 

“Delightful to meet you both…”

“What’s he playing out now?” Bex asked.

“No idea.”

The young lady, almost spilling out of her dress, stared past the three empty glasses in front of her and merely said “Huh?”

“Tell you what, “Pulling from pocket a deck of cards “ Take a card, any card.” Hesitantly the man draws from the fanned-out selection, careful to avoid contact with the tiefling’s claws.

“Very good, look at it, memorize it, and then slip it back in. Ozakius shuffled the cards and continued “Now If I guess your card, I get to shag your lady friend.” 

“Fierna?” Raven offered as a guess.

“Na. She’s promiscuous but not likely to tolerate this type of buffoonery.” Bex disagreed.

“And if’n you guess wrong?” The man asked.

“Well, I still shag her but you’d have the satisfaction of having bested me in a card trick no one will remember, save for the lady of course. “He flashed his fangs in a more than playful smile.

“Levistus.” Bex growled.

“Sounds like a bargain that sad piece of garbage parading as a man whore would offer.” Raven agreed.

“Hmm.” They both watched on.

“Is this your card?” The would be magician asked.

The older man shook his head.

Ozakius’ left hand opened.  “Is this your card?”

Again the gent shook his head, now with a self-serving smirk .

“Oh well, that’s a pity, then let me ask this,” From between the tiefling’s legs, his tail snaked up. Balanced upon the spade tip, held out for display, was a final card. “How about this one then?”

“A brachina.” Raven and Bex said at once.

“We’ve been overthinking it.” Raven suggested. “He’s probably the illegitimate offspring of a drunken pleasure devil.” 

“Yeah.” She agreed. “He’s just the remnant stain of some nymphomaniac fiend. He has to be.”

“Still I think I should have a word with him.”

“Good idea.” The imp nodded in approval. 

Raven slid his way backstage, careful not to be seen.

“I beg your pardon, may I help you?” Ozakius asked with a start as a rather attractive woman tugged on his tail.

The lady, equally stunned but for different reasons,struggled to speak as her cheeks began to flush.  

“You know in my culture after what you have done, custom and tradition dictate that we are now engaged.” He delighted at the look of shock and terror flashing across her face. “Since we are now in a committed relationship, tell me your name.”

“He’s kidding right?” Bex rolled her eyes with disdain.

Raven laughed. “Do you know how many betrothals I’d have, were that to be true?”

“No.” She answered innocently. “But I can tell you how many times you’d have been widowed.” She returned a sadistic smirk.

He couldn’t help but laugh at himself.

“Tell me Penelope, my soon to be bride….are you prepared to feel the gaze of utter and sheer disappointment from your father and the lustful envy of your mother…and sisters…some aunts…..granny still alive? “

“Gross.” Bex hacked as if she was coughing up a hairball.

“Listen to me my dear, perhaps in the future you don’t go yanking on a bloke’s tail… wait did I really say that?… I absolve you of your obligation, we don’t have to get married… but as I mentioned earlier I am in room seventeen! “ 

There were few people backstage, easy for Raven to go unnoticed. He retreated to the rear of the antechamber awaiting the end of Ozakius’ performance. A short time later the sound of howls and cheers, even a whistle or two could be heard from the theater.

Ozakius stepped backstage, comfortably navigating the props and set pieces. In the wings Raven watched as he found Sardan, another performer already in costume and biding his time before the show, taking a drink from a flask.He watched the exchange.

“What’s the word Sardi?”

“Not very much Oz, that was a good set, you really warmed the crowd up.” Offering him a nip from the bottle

“Thanks…I do believe you were supposed to add ‘no pun intended’” The tiefling grinned at the bard.

“Ozzie, you know all my puns are intended” He replied,returning the smile.  “Let me ask you something…. does it ever bother you that we don’t in fact have room seventeen aboard?”

Taking one more pull from the flask before handing it back to its owner “Not in the least, goodnight.”

Sardan stepped out onto the stage while Ozakius walked toward the exit.

“Ozakius.” Xar’aven called out to the tiefling. “Or do you prefer Ozzie?” The warlock asked as he emerged from the darkness. His coppery skin blended well with the shadows. It wasn’t an unusual color for a mortal but its tone was made prominent by its more metallic appearance. He had the typical solid sclera of a tiefling, his was an almost glowing lurid green. Raven wore studded leather, black with burnished bronze studs and fine clothing, the likes of which one would expect a noble to be dressed in. 

“Who’s asking?” Ozakius questioned without even taking the time to glance at what he had hoped was just a fan and not another jealous spouse.

“You can call me Raven. I enjoyed your show and was hoping you might have a few minutes to spare for someone newly hired on the boat.” He grinned through exposed sharp canines.

Thinking that “Raven isn’t the worst stage name , but hardly original”  , he looked over his shoulder “Well well well, what have we here?” turning and slowly taking in the full visage and appearance of the figure hardly cloaked in the shadows for the likes of him “ I understand imitation is the greatest form of flattery but you should know I haven’t worn bronzer in years.”

“Apologies Ozzie, perhaps there is some confusion. I don’t do impersonations. And my complexion is a result of my heritage, a line that traces back to the Archduchess of the Sixth herself.” He casually eyed the performer for any tell tale signs of an infernal lineage. Ozakius had horns, sort of like a ram, close to head, perfect for butting but not so large as to render wearing a hat mpossible. His skin seemed to lean more towards bluish with a purplish tinge perhaps? Raven couldn’t be sure. What he could be certain of was the makeup the performer wore which suggested what he was seeing may not be exactly as Ozakius would appear without it.

Ozakius outstretched his left hand to inspect the state of his nails “Impressive, the sixth you say, well at least it’s in the top ten”.  

“Could he be that stupid to know there are only 9 layers in hell?” Bex growled in frustration through the psychic link she shared with Raven while he eyed the performer’s dress.

From bottom to top every aspect was as it should be, which only added questions and revealed few answers. His boots had a shine but were worn and comfortable, pants of velour the same shade of cream, a broad chestnut brown belt  with a broad buckle, cast in brass, denoting a man on what appeared to be a bucking horse,held in place several pouches, and undoubtedly hidden secrets, a form fitting midnight blue vest with silver buttons, complete with gold chain stemming from a loop connected to the unknown, an ascot made up from  shades of indigo casually wrapped his neck that in the right light seem to slowly ebb and swirl. His ebon hair slicked back  pulled into a tight tail with a platinum barrette.

Carefully he approached, noting the coolness of this stranger, not completely unknown to his kind. “Well I have to say, our dear captain does move fast.” spying the slightest raise of a perfectly groomed brow ‘gotcha’. Shifting from one foot back to the other, tilting his head this way and that, continuing to study this ‘Raven’. Noting the relaxed stance, the casual placing of his hands, and an almost imperceivable curl at the edge of the lips,the sort that denotes the mildest amusement

Raven could hear Bex snort in his mind as her voice followed in. “This one is broken, damaged at least. I wonder who or what did this to him?” The warlock fought back a grin but remained quiet. 

“When I told her that I was thinking of perhaps taking a break from the show for a bit, stretch me legs as it were, I didn’t think she would have found a replacement so soon… I say the woman has spunk and balls.”pulling out a small silver flask, taking a quick pull before offering it to the semi-silent would be replacement.

“Thanks.” Raven said, accepting the flask. But I’m no replacement. My friends and I have been offered transport in exchange for labor. What brings you here?”

“Labor?!” Oz tilted his head back to surge with uncontrolled laughter. The guffaws  suggested bemusement more than malice. Suddenly leaning forward, bracing  both hands on knees, in a feeble attempt to catch his breath.”oh you…you got me with that one… oh my“ producing a handkerchief to dab at the tears and cover his mouth. ”Truly I have not had a jape such as that in far too long.” Straightening himself slowly, still letting loose a chuckle or two before noting the countenance of Raven, ”Oh… you’re serious?”

“I say kill it now and toss it overboard.” Bex’s voice crept into his mind. “There’s no way I’ll be able to endure an extended voyage with this fop.”

Raven gave him a slight smirk before nodding.

“Is that a yes?!” She asked hopefully.

“No Bex. Not yet at least.”

“Ohhh. You wait…” She hissed angrily. 

Raven returned his attention to the still chattering performer.

“No…No… that is unacceptable… you know that labor is for the ugly people right?… I have a perfect mirror skit that we could do…granted we would have to use a bit of makeup on you, and you won’t have to learn any lines…at first anyway, but it could be the start for a life on the stage… better than holding one of those sticks they push on the floor to clean it… or one those other sticks that they use in the dirt to make holes… so many sticks.” he turned his head as if lost in thought. 

With a dramatic flourish of his tan cape  and a half bow “Forgive me, I sometimes go off if allowed “ righting himself, shoulders back, smiling broadly with as genuine expression as one might muster. “I confess it has been some time since I have been in the company of my kind…bare with me…my story, if that’s what you can call it, is so ridiculously common it’s hardly worth mentioning.”

“Here we go…” Raven could feel the imp’s eye rolling in his mind. 

“…so there I am , being escorted with my newly made friend, whose name I can’t quite recall, to what he described as The Finest Brandy Tasting and Orgy in the whole of Waterdeep. Obviously since the nature of the event could be construed by some to be debaucherous, its’ venue had to be somewhat secluded, thus we entered a warehouse on the docks just shy of midnight, 

Granted it does seem cliche but who was I to judge. The women, as it is in their essence, were fashionably late, in fact i don’t remember seeing one there, I did however did notice that the gent at the door looked very much like the man who would leave the very same house of the woman I would shag usually at noon midweek, And surprisingly as I made my way through the small gathering of lads, in hopes to sample some of the brandies as was promised, I noted more and more characters who I had no direct contact with but all shared a familiarity for some reason. Now I’m not going to tell anyone how to live their life, but if I were about to have a smattering of deeply meaningful albeit brief relations with a group of nameless partners, without so much as a name exchanged all while having imbibed upon the sweet and floral flavors of brandy in copious amounts, you could believe that I would be grinning from ear to ear…and I was … the rest of those in attendance were not. Of course that’s when the clubs and chains came out.” Taking another pull from his flask before continuing “ Well as you might have surmised, these lads had it in their heads that I had been visiting their wives, fiancees… aunts…. Sisters… mothers… ahem..a grandmother… you get the picture,”

“I blame you for this.” Z‘beksiya sneered telepathically.

“…which to be fair, I had been…but, and here’s where it gets funny, since they know very little of our kind, they believe that we’re not of this world so we have to be banished to another.  They had pooled their monies and hired some hedge wizard to curse or hex me, even put me in a circle,with glyphs , candles , and the works. When I woke up, in that very circle, the mage declared me a demon, that I had used my charms in an other than natural way to enthrall these poor ladies and that they should not be held accountable for their actions….he then announced the details for my punishment, I can only guess that was so they would know what their coin was buying…banishment from the world….for nine days….now I know what you’re thinking ‘nine days?’ but before any could protest, he clarified that after being sent abroad to the elsewhere, I would be whisked away nine days later to another world, and then again nine days hence, never knowing peace, or stability . This seemed to sate their ire and for me I tried very hard to keep from smiling….you see I do love to travel…and you can meet a lot of nice people in nine days, drink a lot of wine, sample the local cuisine…so off I went…”

“I hate him.” Bex said with contempt.

“…I won’t regale you now with the places i’ve been or of the things and people I’ve done, that will be for other times…but what I will tell you is that the hex must have lost its’ potency  for I have been in this realm without any change for several months…with that said, i found the river which led me to the boat, which, thanks to my charm, talent and good looks along with my overabundance of modesty was I able to convince our good captain that an opportunity like this doesn’t come that often and that she should hire me on the spot…and she did, I then suggested we seal the deal with a shag…she politely declined…..in other words it is a tale as old as time…So What’s your story?”

Raven took a small sip from the flask and handed it back. Brandy he thought based on the sweet fruity taste behind the alcoholic burn. Not the Baatorian Black Whiskey he was accustomed to but not terrible. Certainly better than some of the home brew carnival swill he had imbibed. “Except for the stuff Grembrek made. The duergar knew spirits.”, he thought before shaking the memory from his mind. 

“Sadly not quite as interesting as yours, if you discount my childhood in Osseia. I was in Luskan on some business. Maybe you know the town, it’s a fair way north of Waterdeep but not to someone as well traveled as yourself. Perhaps you’ve been? They call it the City of Sails.”

Raven paused a moment then continued.

“I was fortunate to have found myself in the company of an exceptionally rare and exquisite beauty of a woman for the night after what she would have called a very successful venture.”

“Correct on both accounts.” Bex purred in his mind. 

“We had retired for the night and when I awoke I was laying on a copse of grass off a road less traveled. It seems some dark power brought me here through the mists. I’ve yet to find out why. What I did learn very quickly was to beware the mists. All my companions have shared similar tales.” Raven explained. 

“I’ve always appreciated that sort of that company” with a shared grin “as for my travels , I have traversed the sword coast for business as well but more often for pleasure a number of times and thanks for the aforementioned hex, I have seen quite a few exotic locations and I would be lying were I to say that I’ve never woke up somewhere that differs from where I laid my head, but the mists? That is foreign for me.” Taking a much larger pull “I am keen to meet your companions, perhaps a late supper and some of the house red along with tales from afar…”leading out from behind the curtain,the audience thoroughly enthralled with the Pirates allowed the pair to escape the theater.

“…so have you ever heard of a place called Texahhs? They have some of the most memorable cuisine and methods of preparation…”