This is a joint post between Ishtoshen and Dorym

It occurs after the recovery of the Alabaster Tower…

The dining hall was raucous and loud. Orcs were not known for their civility or manners. Fights over food and drink would break out often. Warriors drunk on Orcish ale and fermented rice wine would hurl insults back and forth until a brawl ensued. Meals were a chaotic time amongst the horde and Ishtoshen found himself entertained by all the action. He sat at a table next to his wife, Obarra, warchief of the Ebon Fang clan, and her brothers Berk and Ferk. These were his people and he was a hero among them. He drank deep into the tankard he had received as a gift from his in laws. No sooner had it emptied when it magically refilled with more of the chunky swill. He jammed his spoon into wooden bowl containing an earthy rice soaked in a spicy curry sauce and drew a mouthful complete with gruel and crunchy bits. “I wonder where Nanill gets this. It’s delicious.” he said. Berk and Ferk grunted in agreement.

Obarra rolled her eyes. “You’re beginning to fit in too well Ishtoshen. Where is the sophisticated man of culture I married?”

Ishtoshen wiped his mouth on his sleeve and pointed a gruel filled spoon at his face. “Right here!” He said with a stained smile.

Obarra laughed. “You missed a spot.” and licked the sauce from his face.  

Berk and a Ferk went hysterical, “Ishtoshen!” Berk yelled. “She preens you like a baby blackbird.” The brothers bounced and shook hitting each other nearly falling out of their chairs.

Ishtoshen laughed with them. “I’d rather her dote on me than have that beast with the hairy cleft lip and underbite share my bed like you two idiots.”

More laughter.

“What’s wrong with and underbite?” A large orc with tusks protruding from his bottom jaw asked.

“Nothing…” he said with a grin. “If you plan to pick your nose with your teeth!”

The table broke out into roaring guffaws and merriment.

The green behemoth howled shoving Ishtoshen from his chair. Berk and Ferk growled in anger. Obarra looked at her husband and nodded.

Ishtoshen grabbed his bowl from the table beaning the orc, sending rice flying everywhere. A loud cheer erupted around him. The orc shook his head then rushed at the dark elf. Ishtoshen spun away from the grasp of his attacker extending his leg and tripping him. The massive green humanoid crashed face first into the table.

More cheering. Berk and Ferk were screaming with laughter.

The orc was enraged. He grabbed at the double axe strapped to his back.

Ishtoshen drew his bow and swept the legs out from under the beast. With blinding speed he framed the orcs head with arrows aiming his last at his head. “Are we done here?” He asked.

The orc exhaled and nodded.

Ishtoshen collected his arrows then stepped over to Obarra. “How about a walk. Nanill has done much to the gardens of late. Let me show you. They are beautiful.” He said offering his hand to Obarra.

She took his into her own and stood up towering over him by at least a foot. “Why not.” She said.

Ishtoshen led her from the dining hall into the church courtyard. They walked around the building into a rear garden Nanill had cultivated with the help of local druids. There were large flowering plants and green leafy frond bushes. The moon was high in the night sky and the soft illumination reflected in fountains and glimmered off gold statues.

Obarra approached one the metal sculptures. It looked humanoid. It’s face frozen in a scream. “Where does Nanill get these? The gold must be very costly and the artists commission quite high.”

“I’m not sure.” Ishtoshen answered. “Every so often a new one appears.”

They moved onto a broad leafed bush with purple and white flowers. “I’m not sure your brothers like me.” She sighed.

“Nonsense. Nanill is quite fond of you. He’s told me so. Valas always tells me how lucky I am and Quevas is never without a smile when he sees us.”

“What of Nazmyr?”

“Are you kidding? If anything he’s jealous I found you first. For all his charm you chose me.” He thought for second counting brothers. “Rygos likes everyone. He’s just quiet. Oh and Alaketh doesn’t have a problem with you. He hooks up with demons and the like… now those things are just mean. Plus you’re stronger and more attractive than any succubus he could conjure.”

Obarra smiled. “Naris?”

Ishtoshen tilted his head and grimaced. “He hates everyone…except Valas…and maybe Rygos…sometimes not Nazmyr…but definitely everyone else. Why worry though. Who cares what anyone thinks.”

They continued back but Obarra paused to look around saying she had a feeling they were being followed. Ishtoshen reassured her that they were. “The two swamplight lynx my brother bought have been following us for some time. Don’t worry. They’re well trained.

The couple made their way to the main entrance of the church where two bronze dragon men who looked more like stone than flesh stood guard. They immediately snapped to attention and made way for them. Ishtoshen led the way in the church receiving room. He pointed out several statues that had been defaced, their heads broken of and each missing a hand. The remaining hand had been painted with the ‘Eye of Vecna’ holy symbol of the church’s patron deity. “This was once a church of Mystra. It took only the eight of us to overrun a human village. Nanill took the church for our god and and desecrated the tributes of its original patron. Vecna was so pleased with our success that he used his magic to move the entire structure to this place with all of us inside.”

“He respects your power Ishtoshen. All the greater gods reward strength. That’s why my people follow you. That.. and I’d rip the spine from any who would dare challenge my mate” She bit his ear hard.

Ishtoshen grinned.

They passed into a corridor leading to a private area of the church. Once in the foyer, they walked toward two heavy wooden doors with a tapestry above depicting Vecna laying waste to a city with fell sorcery. Obarra pushed on the doors and entered what had been several individual rooms now remodeled into a living suite. There was a large sitting area where a hearth burned constantly drawing the dampness from the air. Ishtoshen closed the door behind him, unslung his bow and quiver and placed them on a nearby table. Obarra eyed him like a hungry predator.

“What?” he asked.

“I can’t explain it, but your softness and sensitivity excite me. Most orcs would have cared less about the flora and more about hunting or carnal pleasure. You listen to me…and not because I’d bite your ear off but because you actually care.” She smiled a devilish grin. “I must have you now.” She grabbed him by his shoulders and forced him down on the couch kissing him hard.

Ishtoshen reciprocated her affection then suddenly paused, “Wait. I’m not soft?”

“Obarra was fighting with his sword belt. “No of course not. I misspoke. You’re a fierce and battle hardened warrior.” She grunted in between bites and kisses. She grabbed his hand and smacked herself with it. “Rougher.” she growled.

Ishtoshen obliged and was so distracted neither he nor Obarra heard the door opening from the bedroom. It was a few minutes more before Ishtoshen noticed the visage of Berk staring inches away from his face. He yelped startled.

“Yes” Obarra grunted, grinding into Ishtoshen. “Scream for me.”

Ishtoshen yelled, “Berk! What the hells!”

“Sorry brother.” he said…his face a paler shade of green than normal. ..but the rice today… does not agree with Berk. My chamber pot is broken. How strong is yours? Berk requires a warrior’s chamber pot, not that of a fancy elf.

Obarra cursed at him in orcish and pointed to the master privy. “I don’t care if you use the tub! Just get out of here!”

Berk stumbled away, running for the relief of the restroom.

Nearly an hour later he returned to find Ishtoshen and Obarra curled up in front of the fire. He looked down sheepishly and approached. “Your chamber pot was no better. Berk broke that one too. Sorry for the mess and began to walked away as Ferk poked his head out from the bedroom.

“Brothers!” he exclaimed. “It’s time for the contest!”

“The contest?” Ishtoshen and Berk asked in unison.

The cousins from the Dead River clan are playing naked trout! We must go!” and he burst into the room bare as a newborn.

“I almost forgot!” Berk said stripping his clothes off too.

Obarra looked at Ishtoshen who obviously wanted to participate. “Go my warrior prince. Have fun. Drink heavy and return to me a champion for celebration.”

Ishtoshen jumped up already disrobed and the three streaked through the church into the swamp.

“Children” Obarra said shaking her head.